Author Archives: Mary Martin-Blair
Scapegoating
Scapegoating is a behavior with a long history. In ancient times a scapegoat was an animal chosen by the tribe to be sacrificed to expedite the tribe’s “sins”. Historical examples of scapegoating include: the medieval Spanish Inquisition and the burning of witches; in modern times, the actions of the German Nazi party, the American Klu Klux Klan, and the McCarthy hearings.
And Aaron shall cast lots upon the two goats one lot for the Lord and the other lot for the scapegoat
Leviticus 16:9-12
On a smaller scale, a child or student can be singled out for being different in … Read the rest
Focus on Practice Not Performance
As summer peaks it is time to review the goals we set for ourselves months ago. Did we start that exercise program? diet? Did we update our resume? Enhance our network? Complete that household project? Begin that class? Take more time for ourselves, our loved ones? Did our performance match our expectation? The answers to these questions can lead us to look at how we can successfully achieve our goals.
… Read the restOur goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route
To Be or Not To Be a Risk Taker
Would you be thrilled to drive a race car, sky dive, swim with sharks? Or do you prefer the excitement of trying a new ice cream flavor, a different route to work, or painting your living room a creamier shade of white? We are complex beings and our capacity for risk has wide variations.
Long History
Risk is an inherent part of human growth, from our birth to our final moment of life we are involved in the ongoing task of navigating risk. As humans we have a long history of facing risk and learning to triumph. Homo neanderthalensis had … Read the rest
Introverts and Extroverts: Straight Talk
What is an introvert? An extrovert? The famous psychologist Carl Jung introduced the terms extroversion and introversion. He described these core elements of personality:
- Introversion is a focus on one’s inner world
- Extroversion is a focus on the outer world.
If you are interested in finding out what your personality type is using these concepts, you can take a free online test at HumanMetrics.
Research has found that introverts’ brains process information very quickly compared to extroverts’ brains. So introverts can get overwhelmed by too much incoming stimuli (e.g. a crowded party, lots of loud noise) while extroverts are … Read the rest
Humor Heals: A Look At Anxiety Through A Comic Lens
Anxiety can be a debilitating disorder . The Nation Institute of Mental Health estimates that 40 million American adults have an anxiety disorder. Taking a light hearted look at anxiety can be a welcome and therapeutic experience. BuzzFeed collected 24 comics that depict the frustration of anxiety disorders.
The artists capture the key elements of anxiety and bring the themes alive with fun graphics. They illustrate key components of anxiety extremely well:
- The seemingly superhuman power our minds has over us by depicting Anxiety Girl who is able to jump to the worst conclusion in a single bound.
- How
Float Away Your Troubles
What are Floatation Tanks?
Floatation tanks are becoming a novel new way to gain inner peace and deep relaxation. Floatation or isolation tanks were initially used by John Lilly, a neuropsychiatrist, in 1954 to explore what happens when our external sensory input is significantly reduced. Basically, the sensory deprivation tanks are big, closed tubs filled with water and a large amount of Epsom salts.
The high concentration of salt makes it possible for you to comfortably float with your face above the water. Since the air and water temperature are the same temperature as the skin, you can begin to … Read the rest
5 Relationship Rescue Remedies
From this day forward,
You shall not walk alone.
My heart will be your shelter,
And my arms will be your homeAnonymous
Keeping a committed relationship alive and flourishing is an art form. Once the first blush of attraction (and lust) has faded, learning to accommodate the natural tedium and predictability of an established partnership often requires some basic refresher points. Here are five rescue remedies to keep the spark alive.
1. Be Kind. Don’t underestimate the power of simply being kind. John Gottman, a psychology professor at the University of Washington, has researched the ratio of … Read the rest
Wear Your Brain On Your Chest
What does the behavioral pattern of Bipolar Disorder, Depression, OCD or ADHD look like? Living With: has designed some wonderful T shirts that reflect how the brain behaves with a specific disorder. Their goal? To raise awareness about mental health, change perceptions, and to begin new conversations.
… Read the restWhen you struggle with mental health, you’re a champion every day. It takes guts and courage to face your obstacles head on. Living With: was founded to celebrate the millions of individuals across the nation who are living with mental disorders. Our mission is to encourage self-acceptance, change perceptions, and support new conversations
Perfectionism: A Deadly Saboteur
Here comes the New Year and with it all our promises to eat better, exercise more, spend more time with family and friends. Typically within just a couple of weeks none of these resolves have become actions. What hangs us up? What blocks us from achieving the things we most want? One likely suspect is perfectionism.
Perfectionism is the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accomplished by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness.
Merriam-Webster
How Perfectionism Sabotages Our Resolve
We find ourselves snacking on the leftover Christmas cookies and that small … Read the rest
How To Be A Gentleman
Chelsea Fagan has written a fun and informative post entitled 24 Rules For Being A Gentleman In 2014.
Some examples include:
… Read the rest4. Always text back promptly, even if it’s to let someone down gently. The worst thing you can possibly to do someone is leave them hanging so they can torture themselves with worst case scenarios.
9. Do not refer to things as “gay” that aren’t homosexual human beings. People who call things “gay” as a pejorative are truly the raisins in the trail mix of life.
20. Do not sleep with anyone who wants a relationship from you
